Good morning, Weekend Writing Warriors and a giant THANK YOU to Sara Barnard for hosting me on her blog today so I could share a bit of my first novel with you while I work on constructing my own blog!
My name is Madeline McCandless and SILVER SKY AT DAWN is my debut novel. I hope you enjoy these first ten lines. Any and all comments are welcome! Thank you!
Fiery anger
coursed through my veins, sending a tremble into my fingers until it engulfed
both my hands. Spilling the glass of water on my husband’s phone was an accident. The
text message secrets the dying phone revealed to me, as screens and apps
flashed and closed, proved that my gut instinct had been right all along.
I
fought the urge to snatch up the soggy phone and bean him with it. To beat his
dimpled face until he hurt as bad on the outside as I did on the inside. Tears
of betrayal pricked my eyes as I glanced wildly about our room, anywhere but at
the man I’d promised to love in sickness and in health. The realization of his
arm across my middle sent a slimy shudder across my skin. How dare you touch me. I flung it off, taking no care to be gentle.
“Huh,” he snorted, “Wha…?”
Thank you for reading. To get back to the Weekend Writing Warriors, click here!
Welcome, Sarah!
ReplyDeleteI am looking forward to reading MUCH more. Awesome start!
Thank you for stopping by, Kim!
Delete--Madeline M.
I love this story, Madeline! <3 So glad to help out!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to WWW Madeline! And it's a great start here. What a hell of a way to wake up! What did she spill on the phone? I think you're missing a word there and it threw me off for a second. But a very energetic beginning!
ReplyDeleteYikes! Thanks Jenna! Haha! I have always heard that writers do their best editing AFTER they hit send :-)
DeleteWelcome.
ReplyDeleteLoved the snippet especially her rage at wanting to bean him with her cell phone.
Tweeted.
Thanks for the tweet Victoria!
DeleteA very bad moment in her life! I like your use of "bean" in this snippet. It works so much better than "hit" would have.
ReplyDeletePutting on my moderator's hat now. Since this is your first wewriwa post, I have to point out that our sentence limit is 10, and you've reached eleven. Creative punctuation to complete a scene is an option. A comma after "snorted" would do it. :-)
Thanks Teresa!
DeleteWhoops!! I will fix it today and be more careful next week. Thanks for showing me the ropes!
Thanks, Madeleine! And welcome to wewriwa! :-)
DeleteUgh, what an awful moment. Have a feeling the husband is about to have a rude awakening!
ReplyDeleteA cell phone up the nose should do it!! Ha! ☺️
DeleteCaught! That skunk.
ReplyDeleteSo skunky!!
DeleteWelcome to the Weekend Writing Warriors and wow, what a beginning - that great snippet burned with emotion all right!
ReplyDeleteThank you Veronica!! I sure appreciate that ☺️🎈
DeleteYou've captured her anger and sense of betrayal very vividly.
ReplyDelete